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Originally Posted By: ForeverYoung
It seems the timing of this is of utmost importance if you want to save the marriage though. You know, like not until they've had their chance to figure out on their own the grass isn’t so green on the other side afterall.


This agrees with what H has said. I asked him yesterday was there a specific OW as to why he moved out. He looked shocked...like the "of course not!" look... After some discussion he said that he really wanted to know and experience life on "the other side" and he decided all he ever wanted was at home anyway (can't help going back to the Oz theme).

But going through it is sure rough!!!


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
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Originally Posted By: caigy72
Speaking for accounting for taste...I read on a website a LBS posted, "they get sirloin steak at home but everyone craves some White Castle now and then, after all they are open 24/7" lol


That's hilarious!!!


Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway
caigy72 #2335833 04/04/13 04:43 PM
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Originally Posted By: caigy72
Speaking for accounting for taste...I read on a website a LBS posted, "they get sirloin steak at home but everyone craves some White Castle now and then, after all they are open 24/7" lol


Ewwww. All I can think of is "SLIDERS".

GAG!


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Are you sure you aren't referring to my xh? He just loves White Castle these days. Why he even gets the frozen White Castle products.

Crazy making people. But, you've got to laugh when you can because no one can make this stuff up.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Originally Posted By: reachingHigher
This agrees with what H has said. I asked him yesterday was there a specific OW as to why he moved out. He looked shocked...like the "of course not!" look... After some discussion he said that he really wanted to know and experience life on "the other side" and he decided all he ever wanted was at home anyway (can't help going back to the Oz theme).


Note to self: Pick up a pair of Ruby Slippers on the way home.

Give to W along with instruction sheet:

1. Close eyes
2. Click heels three times
3. Repeat:There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no place like home


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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hey hi-

Quote:
I 100% believe that if things don't work out between us, it is his loss. Not that I won't be sad - but could I find someone who isn't a selfish, self-centered, cheating, spend your families $ on your ho bag liar? I think it wouldn't be hard to trade up in that scenario!


i agree- it's sad that they're such nice guys turned into the biggest dopes in the universe. you made me laugh tho- i particularly like the "ho bag".

Quote:
Our spouses once thought we were good enough to spend the rest of their lives with, so our new found place of being chopped liver kinda svck


true again- i really hate that the most. feeling like a pos instead of "special". yeah- it's cheesy to say out loud - but true. he used to say - " well, you picked me" - it was true - it would always make me squawk becasue whatever it was - it wan't something i "signed on for". allllllll the things that pop out after a gazillion years.

oh well- this guy did pick me- yours picked you- if they're unhappy now-

i wonder honestly if it's as simple as they cannot accept that true love doesn't always mean it's fun or exciting or firework sex? just can't accept that life can still be very good with someone BECAUSE of the longevity and sameness and sane-ness and familiarity - in stead of "inspite of" it? it's my current working theory-

can they move past it or outgrow it before they chase us away- don't know-

oh well - just me - waitin for whatever is next ... good luck and hope your day is great. you're very entertaining btw - maybe your h just doesn't want to lose track of you or control

i always wondered why men want to "collect" women- even women they think they don't want- they don't want anyone else to have them either-

wierd wierd specie - be free

nero #2335895 04/04/13 08:01 PM
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Haha snodderly, it seems even their appetite "affairs down".


M 41 H 43
M 22
S 18 S 14 D 11
Affair discovered 1/12
He filed 2/12
OW#2 7/12 she lives next door.
D pending
caigy72 #2335964 04/05/13 02:07 AM
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I know I have said this before... But you guys are awesome!!!!

It's been crazy busy at work and home. I've been reading everyone's stuff here and there, but am having a hard time finding time to post.

I have been smiling all day at everyone's comments smile

WH ~ "Don't you ever get to thinking ... You're irreplaceable "

Thinking being the key word there. Lets face it, thinking isn't exactly our MLCers thang. Instead, it seems like they let the OW do all the thinking for them - and they are just as crazy!

Whatever the stinkiest cheese is, that should go with chopped liver! Although I enjoyed T^2's suggestion!

Speaking of... I've been following you still T. Sorry you and the fam have been under the weather. Stress does lower the immune system! It seems like no matter how much patience you give, more is always needed. Yet, you are able to find it under the most challenging of circumstances.

And I wouldn't start flirting with your wife just yet. I say let her come to you. You are still the prize! One day, yes one day T she will look at you and think, "I am so ready to jump my hot husband!"

But for now, it's as Snodderly put it - patience grasshopper smile

Nero, you asked a very good question...can they move past it or outgrow it before they chase us away?

That, my dear, is the million dollar question. I unfortunately don't know the answer either.

And you should feel special, because you are. The twinkle twats are the pos, not us. It's all about perspective. And we can't expect our H's to have a normal or good one with their heads firmly planted up their MLC a$$es. Just sayin.

FY - feel free to join the jukebox anytime!

It's strange, but I have come to a point where I can see a future with or without my H.

At bomb, I thought, how can I ever deal with losing him? But now, I feel like he's already lost. He's the one who has to worry about losing ME.

Oh yes, times they are a changin'.

And I can see how things can come full circle eventually, with the LBS feeling towards the MLCer the way the MLCer felt towards them during bomb. With everyone's feelings constantly changing, how do two people once so in love ever get back on the same page???

rH, you know I've been checking up on you smile will post something to you tomorrow when I'm not so stinking tired. If there is anyone that can build something new, it is you. You have been the glue to hold your family together, and in the process you have unleashed this incredible woman, capable of leaping over her MLC H in a single bound! So very happy for you smile

Hey UW, you need to know that you totally made my day by using the term "true dat". And I didn't think you could get any more awesome!!! If I ever visit NY, I will look you up and we will hang smile


As for me, good evening. Ran some errands, bought summer clothes for S4. H was in an exceptionally good mood this evening. Strange...

I also wanted to add that he is back to off and on modesty when getting out of the shower. Some days he comes out with his towel on. Some days he takes his underwear into the bathroom. And some days like today, he lets it all hang out. I just pull a Lady Gaga and put on my "poker face" no matter what the after shower sights are!

My juke box addition for this evening -

"Wide Awake" by Katy Perry

I've been listening to it for awhile now. Really feel the words.

"Wish I knew then, what I know now
Wouldn't dive in
Wouldn't bow down
Gravity hurt, but made it so sweet
Till I woke up on, on the concrete"

Isn't that what the bomb felt like? Waking up face first on the freaking concrete???

"Not losing any sleep
I picked up every piece
And landed on my feet
Need nothing to complete myself - no
I am born again, out of the lion's den
I don't have to pretend
The story's over now, the end"

I love that... Picking up all the pieces of ourself and our life, and putting it back together. Realizing that we don't NEED our spouses, but love them and want them. (Maybe!) And our story of our old M might be over, but our new story has only just begun.

Turning my brain off now (or going to try!)
Good night smile


Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me

~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
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Oh man, T, I would love that! The trouble we could get into in NY. Put it on your bucket list. LOL!

You are right where you are supposed to be on this journey.

You just keep going.

uRworthy #2336045 04/05/13 01:42 PM
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Hittin' up the jukebox with Alanis Morissette,

Hand in My Pocket

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

And what it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken s***
I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing a piano

And what it all comes down to my dear friends, yeah
Is that everything is just fine fine fine
'Cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab


M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
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