Same as you, I am always reading on your sitch and thinking of you.
One thing my friend has said to me, that helps is this. My H loves me. Your H loves you. But, that love hurts, so it isn't good for us.
It helps me when I spin about whether he cares. He does. It's the best he has. Which is way less than you deserve.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D