suppose one of your kids tried to reach something on a high shelf, and accidentally knocked over and shattered a valuable, irreplaceable, antique vase. I don't know how old your kids are, but let's suppose that when this happens, the kid is old enough to know better, i.e. he/she is aware when reaching for the high object that it could quite likely knock down the vase.
so what do you do? do you never talk to your kid again? what is more important, the vase (no matter how valuable) or your relationship with your kid? years later, will you look back with satisfaction and say, "yeah, I never talked to my kid again after that, but I sure punished him/her for breaking that vase!"
or....
do you forgive him/her for breaking the vase; realize that he/she made a dumb mistake when he/she decided (yes, DECIDED) to try to reach the high object when it could have (and in fact did) knock over the vase; and say to him/her - "I will forgive you if you promise me to never do something like that again."
and while you mourn the loss of the valuable vase, you have decided to preserve something much more important in life.
