Okay, don't feel stupid because the AA and al-anon has helped you to become what you are becoming today. The way I look at it is that you can't do it over...ever. What you can do is find the good in everything. I think you found a Tally that you didn't know existed. You found friends here and yuo found the strength to walk your own path, if indeed, you profess co dependency. Was it a bit of a b*tch to get here? Yup...but the rewards are worth it
