You were kind enough to go through my novels and I wanted to return the favour by visiting your thread, too.
I agree with you when you say you have to separate the personal from the business, especially when H has taken off. I am often involved in negotiations for my job and let me tell you, trust no one when it comes time to negotiate money. It is a ruthless business. Know what your expenses are, know your bottom line (what the court would give you) and know where you can negotiate. Ask him to provide a list of those "extra expenses" which often turn out to be fictitious.
The cooler and more collected and prepared you are, the better off you will be. Preparation will also bring some confidence which never hurts. Don't mention that you have spoken to a lawyer, that information is for you only. He will not be as prepared as you are and that puts him at a disadvantage. This is business.
(You can have a rip the soul out R talk some other time )
)