[Papa4Life]

Hi in_it, hey, I know how it feels. There's something so attractive about "intelligence gathering" -- catching our WAS in their private moments, hoping to gain some insight into our situation. Now, of course I don't know if your H really does suspect anything, but even if he does, hey, it's his own dumb fault for putting himself in this sitch in the first place.

But my larger point is that, while 'snooping' (for lack of a better word) is a bad idea because it can cause your H to become even more sneaky, the real reason it's not a good idea is because in the end you're really only hurting yourself. Dontcha think? Early on after BD, I 'overheard' my W talking to a friend, saying that she had noticed a number of things I had done recently that in the past I 'never would have done', but that it's "too little, too late" (that old saw). It made me upset because, I knew that I had done much more than she was giving me credit for. But the worst part, obviously, was that I couldn't confront her about it because I was eavesdropping when I heard it!! So now, I do everything I can to not overhear anything she says on the phone and I NEVER check out her e-mail or text messages. I just don't need to know because it doesn't get me anywhere and it can only make me feel worse. You should try to focus on yourself and not get too hung up on what he's up to because you can only control your own actions. So focus on yourself and make yourself into a person only a fool would leave. I know it's kinda cliche, but it's the truth.

Hang in there!