Thanks. It's confronting to realise how easily i slip back into that negative thinking. Also, I am finding it hard to separate the desire to change for me and for her to see these changes.
Tactical..I am ashamed to admit that you are right. I was being tactical without recognising it. I Dont want to be tactical, i dont want to trick my wife. When I left the home i saw my wife a week later I told her that i was not happy with the person i had become and that i was ashamed of the way i behaved. I told her that i was going to make changes to be a better man. I saw a counsellor which helped me acknowledge some of the challenges i faced.
What have i done to be a better man? I have done some things, i am taking better care of myself, have dramatically reduced my alcohol intake and have begun giving my love and time to my two boys. I am trying to learn patience, but it is not easy. I am trying to change my negative thoughts, but that is also not easy but i do recognise that if i can do this then things will begin to click into place. I have enrolled in a meditation and self development course. I am looking to some anger management courses as well.
I think your point about finding people who are positive thinkers and deal with conflict successfully is excellent. I am afraid of reverting back to old ways in times of crisis, i never want to go back to that way of thinking and feeling. I can rise above this and become the man i want to be.
Thanks for your patience 25yrsmlc...
Me - 37 W - 37 M -5 T - 15
S=5 S=3
Seperated - 12/12 BD - 20/03/13 Still seperated - no R or M talk yet.
