Amen on the DO IT NOW! That is my mantra. It would be rare that an LD spouse decides to fix a sexually incontinent relationship ( although we have seen it on these forums). It is primarily the responsibility of the unhappy spouse.
As an abused person, I can tell you this much. The (insert expletive here) person responsible for the abuse should be hung - if it would bring closure to the incident. In the real world, dealing with the aftermath falls under the purview of the abused. As such, I can tell you how I dealt with my abuse;
I metaphorically kicked the abuser out of my bed, out of my experience and out of my mind. I will be damned if some pervert is going to screw up one of the greatest experiences we can have on the planet, in this life.
They had their guilty pleasure, and they will take the guilt to their grave. That is ALL they will ever get from me. I will have guilt free sex, sans their presense in any form, for as long as I am able. They are NOT going to be a part of my sex life now. Why should I, why would I let them? It is my choice, I choose the good over the ugly :-)
I wish you and your wife all the best in your recovery. -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
