its funny how I can read another's thread and see the points that you all make... and I get it! put the same comments on my thread & I get all screwed up!
I am reposting what just made sense to me:
"is trying to sort out her own thoughts and feelings and doesn't have a real grasp on those for herself. Now you want to throw into the mix your thoughts and feelings - this is pressure, pure and simple"
"This is why it's important to detach!! You cannot worry about this. If you try to be there every time she turns around; try to push discussions of the M; try to be there for her every need - this will most likely achieve one thing. You'll end up pushing her away..."
WFM - if you're wondering why or how I am able to make statements like the above, here's why; like many others here I'M GUILTY OF DOING THOSE THINGS!!! For a good six months after BD - maybe even a little before BD, since I felt something was wrong. I did everyone of those little gems that I suggest people not do. AND AT NO POINT DID IT HELP!!!
Try to learn from those of us who have been here (meaning our sitches) for a while - I'm a relative newb to this board. There are veterans here with far more experience at DB'ing than I have; listen to them, take what they say to heart as they have been there. And above all, read and re-read the books!! You will have more DUH! moments than you can imagine...
