Wife said she was done!

[Maritimer]

No that is exactly what this is all about- giving her time and space to realize that YOU are not 100% responsible for every little problem and issue in her life. The more space you give her the quicker she might figure this out.

Its hard to watch her dig a deeper hole, financially and socially. What effects her effects our children.

If she's like my W then she knows darned well that it would be best for the kids to remain together. You don't need to keep reminding her though, because reminding her is PRESSURE. And even though she knows it's best for the kids, her needs are controlling her thoughts right now.

I really hope she would do whats best for our family. I am doing everything I can to become the best person I can be.

It was brought up that I hurt her emotionally and she is having trouble letting that go.

What was your response? Hopefully validation?

Yes, I validated her responses. Noting that I made changes to avoid any of this from happening again.

Don't be tempted. Believe me, I felt the same way. I saw some signs from W- she told my sister she was thinking about reconciling, she was showing some interest in me that she hadn't shown in a long time, etc. So I pushed her a little and guess what, she totally backed down. Have you heard the squirrel analogy? That's what you're doing, you're holding still with a nut in your hand and waiting for the squirrel to come to it. If you make any move at all the squirrel just goes running right back up the tree and you start all over again. Don't get your hopes up every time your W makes some small move, drop your expectations!!

Thats a good one, I don't want to scare the squirrel! We need to start some type of communication about the future. I dont like coasting. When we first met she liked it that I pursued her. She enjoyed the attention. I don't want another person to fulfill that need. Dropping expectations is hard because you want whats best for the family and for it to work. We have more showings for the house so I feel its crunch time to seek some kind of resolution.

Having no expectations is so hard right now!