Alias-I think it's natural to have these feelings & not be able to just 'get your act together'. I know it's been one of my biggest downfalls. I also believe that being in the same house, even though having those days of tension, is a good thing. I think in my sitch I believe this because OW is out of state.
Stay strong & keep moving along. Take what you can get. She sees what and how you react. Does she know you know about her lying to you so often? My H doesn't realize I'm not buying into what he's telling me. I'll admit I have to bite my tongue quite a bit, but trying not to dwell on it helps me keep a PMA.
Our sitchs seem similar. I pray for the best for you. ~in it
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12