I know exactly what you mean. My W had a whole damned switchboard she was flipping quite regularly. It's no fun and always kept me off balance, until I started detaching and looking at life differently.
My sitch has been going on MUCH longer than yours and I came into DB'ing way too late to save my M - that's the sad truth. DB'ing is about going against your gut feelings and what makes sense to you. So the question is this - does SHE want to talk these things thru right now?
Odds are that she does not, and is trying to sort out her own thoughts and feelings and doesn't have a real grasp on those for herself. Now you want to throw into the mix your thoughts and feelings - this is pressure, pure and simple.
