we own a biz - pt 4

[Tallula]

Tx for the 2x4's everyone. I know it was bad and against DB'ing, but it also feels like I made some headway. Doing nothing feels like I am getting nowhere. Watching paint dry. When I do my r talks, I hear stuff. I like what I heard yesterday, and will hold on to that. I will wait for that list. Meanwhile, back to work only convos & space.

I second Labug. What did you hear that you liked? Remember when he told you he was "working on the r" and you felt good short term...then he didn't back any of that up with action. I have to be honest, I haven't seen you really ever be "work only convos & space". Do you get that DBing is to do these things for MONTHS, not hours or days.

My H tells me how much he loves me and how sexy I am...but he is sleeping with 2 OW. So which of these things is for real?

I do notice that I try to control to get what I want to hear... I want to HEAR/SEE these things from him.... I will wait. I am impatient. I get discouraged very easily. I am super stressed.

It's good you realize you are impatient. Have you finished reading DB?

I feel I would do better db'ing if encouraged more and not beat up by the boards here. As we are learning in DB to focus on the positive behaviours by our spouses, and you are all doing that... but we prefer to give 2X4's to the members. Is this not wrong'ish?

No one is beating you up, you are spinning & asking questions. We give you answers and you don't like it. We get it!!! We have all been there. But we see you doing damage and NOT DBing. We want you to find peace. We want you to DB. If you can't re-read all your posts and see what we see, then you are self deluding. None of us comes from a place of holier than thou. We have all been there. We are trying to help!!