I'm certainly getting to the point with H that I can say "too bad" if he doesn't like something, because I *have* to do it for *me*, like you said about yourself. I have a concern, though, about that turning into a "tit for tat," in that H will retaliate because he didn't like my boundary. Next time I need something from him, he's very liable to refuse out of spite (BTDT.) That's his choice and I can't control him. But then the next time he wants something from me, how do I joyfully give him what he wants when I know he has intentionally dissed me? I know that giving comes from the heart, but I'm much more inclined to be generous to someone when they're not being a jerk to me, ya know? I'm afraid it could easily turn into a stand-off. But I'm sure people dislike boundaries all the time but still manage to work it out (not always, I know.) What is the course of action for the person with the boundary in the context of someone that doesn't like it and is being nasty about it? It almost seems like I have to have another boundary regarding a reciprocal M, another seeming "ultimatum" for equity (aka. tit for tat.) UGH!
I'm not suggesting I throw out my boundaries, I'm just looking for a way to avoid that ugliness It doesn't seem like it should be this hard.
