Tough stuff, Bug. I'm neither a parent nor a mental health professional. My take is that his current daily routine would lead anyone further down a non-productive path.
Have you read/heard Temple Grandin? She's pretty relentless about forcing kids with difficulties to do what needs to be done. Temporary or permanent label makes no difference. Easy or difficult, we all need to do what needs to be done. Just make sure that your help isn't helping him avoid the growing up he needs to do.
