Bugsy - many times in life we are required to do things that we simply don't want to do. Sometimes it is galling that we would even consider it an obligation. BUT, in our hearts we know we must do it anyway.
I think keeping your H informed of your son's condition and progress or lack thereof is the right thing to do. The question I have is, can you tell him without having any expectations that he is going to do anything with the information?
I think that you are probably going to have to get used to the idea that all you can do and what you feel you must do, is simply keep him informed. Think of it like taking out the trash. No one likes to do it (except for maybe...well we all know about my problem with that ) but we do it anyway.
Keep your H informed but with the same level of detachment you would have if taking out the trash.
Hope this helps!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
) but we do it anyway.