When was the last text he sent that wasn't about his needs?
Ding, ding!!
:face palm:
And they keep coming, he sent another one. I've allowed this. Me. I know it.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
You are right. I plan to talk or send the email tonight, and if he continues to text me anything other than kid/finance/house related things, I will block him.
I haven't set the boundary yet. I've allowed myself to be an emotional crutch to him still. That's on me. But once I state these boundaries, I will stick to them with those types consequences. I just believe that right now, since I have allowed this behavior and responded to it, blocking him would seem out of the blue and cause even more drama.
Does that seem correct?
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
Yes, give him a chance to change his behavior. That's what boundaries are about, protecting you while giving the other person a choice.
But the first time he sneaks in one of his cute little sexual innuendos, shut him down. He's probably never had anyone show him that much love before.
I composed my email, it was firm. Just kids, finances, and house. I was very specific. That I can no longer discuss our feelings, hopes, sadness. We can discuss the kids feelings and that I will call/text him during the week if I think the kids need extra dad time. No sexual advances, I'm beautifuls, or I love you's. And that I will do the same. I said that today, we can't be friends for my and that of our unborn child's, health.
I plan to send it right after work, to give him the evening to process. Doing this crap at work is not cool.
We shall see. It's in his court. I know that without a doubt, I certainly haven't shown him this much love before. Heck, from the texts I saw, he has 2 other woman taking care of him. Not just sexually, they both were worried about his infection that he had to get meds for. Let them apease and stroke his ego. Good lord! Whenever I feel wobbly, all I have to do is take a gander at those texts.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I feel good. This is right. OW can be his option. Tallula is no man's option!!
Bravo! Keep it up.
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I think establishing these boundaries will be good FOR YOU. You are right--you need to take care of you and your children, unborn child included.
Your H is waaaaaaaaaaay too dependent on you despite he has these OW in the wings.
Your words are what I want to say, but don't have the strength yet. And, my H hasn't been playing the kind of games yours has (he has maintained his steady progress of detaching from me and moving ever so slowly toward his destination (OW)).
(((((((((((HUGS to YOU!!))))))))))))))
Let us know response to your boundaries!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
