When I asked about the 180's, I was wondering what areas of your personality you want to improve and what behaviors you want to change. Have you pinpointed your role in what is happening?
Oh, so you want to hear about the ugly side of wonderful me, do ya? OK, you asked for it!
I used to get aggravated when she called me at work, or talked to me while on the computer at home, pushing her away. (ouch, that hurts so much to think about now.)
I would angrily cuss over little aggravating things like dropping an object, or a shoelace coming untied. Now she does this!
I would complain about dangerous drivers and go on about my superior "safe" techniques.
I wasn't assertive enough... didn't "Drive the boat". (her words) This one I've been questioning as time goes on. Seems I was more assertive than I first thought, but I'm still stepping it up.
I refused to wear my wedding ring, even after years of her requesting that I do.
I didn't pay close enough attention to her needs/desires.
I didn't work well with her in the kitchen, or on other projects.
So, these are some of my personality issues that I didn't like, and have done 180's on. Does she notice? The wall she has put up and the extra space between us makes it slow going.
Is it helping? I think so. Time will tell!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
