It has been a busy day today. Both the D3s had to go to the ophthalmologist this morning. The elder twin (by 28 whole minutes) was born with craniosynostosis, which is a premature fusion of one or more of the joints between the bone plates of the skull, which isn't supposed to happen (a baby's skull is 'designed' to collapse somewhat during delivery), and as a result her skull was somewhat 'crooked' when she was born. At first we agreed to try a new technique they've developed involving a minor endoscopic surgery in which a segment of the skull is removed to release the fusion. Then, she was fitted for a special cranial orthosis molding helmet, which is designed to promote growth in the area of the skull where growth was inhibited due to the fusion of the skull plates. I drove my daughter back and forth to the orthotics clinic (90 minute drive each way) every week at first, and then every other week for about 4 or 5 months before it became obvious that the technique wasn't working. She then underwent the traditional method, which involved having a section of her forehead being removed, reshaped, and then 'glued' back into place to correct the deformity. The results look great (you wouldn't know there had ever been anything wrong with her by looking at her), but because the eyes were slightly out of alignment, it left her with a lazy eye. So, she wears an eye patch for about three hours every evening to help strengthen the eye. At any rate: it seems that the problem has improved significantly, but her sister appears to have a problem with her eyes (one stronger than the other) and might require glasses. However, they want to wait a few more months to see if the situation improves.
In all, we were at the hospital for about 2 1/2 hours (they both got eye drops) and when we got home, the in-laws were here for their usual one-day-a-week with the grandkids. I had a bit of work to do -- which is always a welcome distraction from the current sitch -- and I had the usual running around to do with the older kids.
W is planning on working on Friday (which is usually her day at home with the kids), and she has asked her parents to stay with the kids. I feel bad about asking them to come on additional days because of their recent health issues, but they both say they don't mind, and I'm not gonna get into an argument with W about it, that's for sure (sensitive topic). W is also planning to visit a friend on Saturday and stay overnight. At first, I had said that it was a lot to ask since I would have to be home all night Saturday and most of Sunday, but then I thought, STHU!! Give her space and let her do her thing. Besides, it's a great chance to have fun with the kids. I'll probably play a board game with the big kids and then go do something with all of them on Sunday. My first real dad and kids day since this sitch arose! I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it
When talking to W last night, she told me about the arrangements that she had made and we agreed to a plan and who would handle what. At the end, I said to her, "Okay, great. Thanks for arranging all of that." She looked at me and asked, "Do you mean that seriously?" I said, "Yes, absolutely. Thanks." I think she was surprised by that, because in the past I might have just felt that it was her duty if she's going to change our schedule to arrange things with the kids or to switch with me on another day. That's a thing of the past, because I want to be as accommodating as possible without being a doormat.
That's about it. Going for a run later and hopefully there will be another opportunity to make up some of the ground I lost after the backtrack last week.
M41 W42 M 12 T 15 S10, D9, twin Ds 3 1/2 BD 1/2/2013 Living as roommates Working on D agreement w. mediator 5/13
