His story about the house is malarky. Thinking that taking things slow and cautious (for 25 years) is loving, is kidding yourself. Take him as he is, not how you would like to mindread him to be.
How he is, is someone who does not want to live with you right now. He could move you in with his mom, he could move over to where you are, he could find a way if what he wanted was you and him together. IMO he makes this stuff up to get you off his back, because it works.
The list is good. Let him make the list and then take it and validate it, listen and don't argue, and back off for a while to take it in without reacting. It may be very useful for you.
Giving him hugs at this point in your sitch because you feel he is holding back waiting for you to give him hugs, does not reflect an understanding of where you are in your sitch, IMO. He is a person who does not come forward and give affection. That OK with you? If you never back off, he will never have a reason to learn to come forward.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
