i am glad you posted bc i think it is good that you are sharing your challenges and feelings in this safe place.
i do not have any answers for you bc i think the only answer can come from within you, KG. you have shown such courage and strength through this... anyone who could get through childbirth and bringing a new baby home in the midst of all this, is someone who is strong and wise enough to know what they need now.
i am in awe of your courage, KG. you have been thrown so many curveballs... with finances, with OW's time with your kids, and now this trip.. and each time you have fought through and looked to care for your children and to better yourself.
this is yet another opportunity to grow (enough already, right?), but in what way?? is it an opportunity to stand up for you or to face down another hurt... i think the answer can only come from you.
sorry if that seems like i am skirting the question but i really do believe that only you can answer this one.
love you, dear friend.
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
