Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[BRNR]

Hi Snodderly,

Totally understand what you are saying about the future not being ours to see. But the future is the future. I know I deserve a good one.

We have discussed the finances and visitations when he moved out in December. This is him wanting to renegotiate things. Honestly...everything is really split 50/50, including the kids...so my gut is telling me that this is not going to be a positive conversation.

As far as the divorce speak, I will have to bring it up if he wants to change the financial agreement. As I said, he is giving me about what I would get in alimony and child support combined, but I can't get the alimony portion without filing for the divorce...so there's the rock and hard place.

You are right on db'ing, but I meant in the effort to save my marriage. I will still put forth the efforts to use those skills for detaching and my 180's. which I have grown to love.

And yes, with the divorce, I know I will get a great relief, I know things will be hard, and I will still have all my emotional stuff to deal with, and new problems that will arise, but I am stronger than I was at bomb drop and know I will continue to push through.

My future outlook with h....I hear you, he will still be there, maybe, maybe not. He may run with his new found freedom, but at least my contact with him will be more definitive.

Yes, what he doesn't seem to see is that he thought he would be able to run free from everything...kids, financial obligations, and me. I really do hope he comes through this and sees all that he has lost. It is a shame that they think things will be so easy...just by running away.

Thanks for the prayers...I will need them, I will be doing a lot of my own as well.