Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[BRNR]

Thanks Kml, I have consulted an attorney already, and know that he is giving me about what I would get between spousal and child support.

He did return my email, and stated that he does want to discuss money and the future. Doesn't sound like a positive conversation, so I am going to assume he wants to talk divorce and prepare myself for that. Besides, if he wants to discuss giving me any less, we will have to proceed with the divorce for me to get the spousal support. So I guess it is what it is.

I responded back and told him if he could arrange for us to meet one on one, then we should discuss these matters face to face.

I am sorry to say that if it does come down to the divorce starting that for me, that will be the end of my rope. No more db'ing for me. He has moved way to fast with this entire situation that I feel it will be necessary for me to become the WAS. Not to mention that I refuse to go through mediation. I will be seeking legal counsel to protect my financial future. By the talks of my H, it doesn't seem he is prepared financially to pay for an attorney. I know that once this starts, things will get ugly...should be fun!

But that is me assuming as H really hasn't said the word divorce yet, so maybe things can go either way. I am scared and nervous, and somewhat relieved at the same time. There is movement in my sitch and while Snodderly said you don't get closure just by getting a divorce, for me, this will help me gain closure and secure my future as right now, lets face it, my future outlook still included my H.

I almost feel sorry for him though, as he does not realize that once things go through, he will not be any better off than where he is right now. But the heart wants what the heart wants, and maybe this will give him the freedom he needs to move on with his life.