Im questioning if the more space I give her the more we seem to be drifting apart. I believe this is the opposite of what i am trying to achieve.
No that is exactly what this is all about- giving her time and space to realize that YOU are not 100% responsible for every little problem and issue in her life. The more space you give her the quicker she might figure this out.
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The perfect situation would for us to work on our relationship and we can both be with them 100%. She never argued this.
If she's like my W then she knows darned well that it would be best for the kids to remain together. You don't need to keep reminding her though, because reminding her is PRESSURE. And even though she knows it's best for the kids, her needs are controlling her thoughts right now.
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It was brought up that I hurt her emotionally and she is having trouble letting that go.
What was your response? Hopefully validation?
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I suggested we try to get counseling and to work on our relationship
= PRESSURE
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I know she will not be the one to make the first suggestion about slowly reconciling or go to counseling. When would be a good time to do this.? I feel now would be because of the good vibes I am receiving.
Don't be tempted. Believe me, I felt the same way. I saw some signs from W- she told my sister she was thinking about reconciling, she was showing some interest in me that she hadn't shown in a long time, etc. So I pushed her a little and guess what, she totally backed down. Have you heard the squirrel analogy? That's what you're doing, you're holding still with a nut in your hand and waiting for the squirrel to come to it. If you make any move at all the squirrel just goes running right back up the tree and you start all over again. Don't get your hopes up every time your W makes some small move, drop your expectations!!
