I wouldn't mention the counseling yet. She needs time to think and absorb the new reality she's living in - and so do you, really. Let the good vibes sink in for both of you. However, take it slow. The R didn't break overnight and it will not get fixed over night. She's going to need to be in a place where she feels comfortable with who you are, and who she is.
Patients, patients, patients; as some other posters put it...
Of course it would benefit the children if you two can save the M. I assume there's been no abuse, violence, drugs, etc... when I say that.
Originally Posted By: Maritimer
Im questioning if the more space I give her the more we seem to be drifting apart. I believe this is the opposite of what i am trying to achieve. The more space I give her the more she is becoming drawn to others it seems.
This is why it's important to detach!! You cannot worry about this. If you try to be there every time she turns around; try to push discussions of the M; try to be there for her every need - this will most likely achieve one thing. You'll end up pushing her away...
Originally Posted By: Maritimer
I know she will not be the one to make the first suggestion about slowly reconciling or go to counseling.
Are you sure? How do you know she will not reach these conclusions just from being able to see the changes you've made in yourself? And that those changes are permanent? And that you're sincere? Ultimately, it needs to be you who makes the decision of whether to open up a dialog or to let her do so. And if you do so now, will it be perceived by her as a controlling action by you?
