LC... beating yourself up over what has happened is pointless. It diminishes the very positive changes you have made.
From my own journey, I had to forgive myself because it was eating me up inside. It was filling me with even more anger than I was carrying. it is a dead weight I sure don't need to tote with me. Forgiving my W was not as hard as I thought it was going to be.
I came to the conclusion that does it really matter who did what to who when? Does it matter whether she threw a five pound bomb and I was only lobbing one pounders back? I figured we both contributed to the marriage to what made it what is today. Good and bad contributions.
Unburdening yourself from your guilt with true forgiveness will do for soul what the weight loss has done for your body! BTW... WTG for the weight loss. I lost 50 pounds last year... I know how hard it is to do.
Funny thing, my first wife approached me a year after our D was finalized... after having two children with OM (one while we were still married)... and saw the changes I had made in my life... she actually called me to talk about a R... Funny how stuff happens.
Keep the faith, brother...
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
