On Friday, D13 and I joined some friends on a trip to an amusement park. I was full of anxiety, because the last time I was there I couldn't ride ANYTHING due to it being just three months after my car wreck. After the first ride was over, and I realized I survived unscathed, the rest of the day was awesome!! I've put a ton of effort into working out to strengthen my back and neck - well my body overall - and it has certainly paid off.
Over the last I don't know how many years, I had forgotten how to have fun - and alcohol and drunk people were not required on this day!! This was further confirmation, for me, that I don't need to drink to have fun - just being around people I like, doing something we all enjoy.
Saturday and Sunday I worked on framing the walls of my parent's/D23's horse barn. Sunday proved to be rather interesting, though. D23 saw a rattlesnake about 15 feet from where we were working on the barn. Two of us 'occupied' it while D23 & my mom went to get a shotgun. Turns out it was a 5 footer who has now lost a fight with a 12 gauge shotgun. Hated to really do that, but, there are horses there and kids nearby - it had to go...
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W still thinks there's something going on with me and someone else. Honestly, I wish I had the time and energy an A would require, lol. I do see why she thinks this, though. I've changed; I'm happy almost all the time, more energetic, in better shape, better around the house and better when dealing with the D's and everything in general. I have stopped asking her about who she's texting, talking to, what she's late getting home from work, etc... Ironically, she is still asking me the very same questions, and God forbid I come home a few minutes late from work - it's like an interrogation.
Last night she made some brownies for a few co-workers and was leaving around 9pm to deliver them - ironic again since they close at 9pm and she works 25 minutes away. I told her to drive safely and I'd see her some time tomorrow. She was stunned that I wasn't angry or asking 20 questions about what she was doing. I told her I thought it was good she had some friends and to be safe.
I haven't changed my mind. The more I think and review what's been going on, and for how long, I know in my heart and mind it's over. I still believe if I had found out about DB'ing in 2006, there was a chance to save things. Timing is everything.
