Losing Hope

[Shiss]

Hi everyone, first post, I'll keep it short and sweet. Looking for some insight/motivation/thoughts. Originally posted to the Separation Section but I wasn’t getting much traffic. My bad.

Married 9 years, together 11, no kids. I've always been insecure/fearful of rejection and never being good enough, so it comes out in anger, pushing H away. That's been going on for years. In the past I promised I would change, never have. Started going to counseling in August when things went downhill, got better, then fear came back starting in Jan, then last week he moved out. New counselor, new outlook on long term positive changes, things are going great.

H left to go live at his parents last Thursday 3/21. First five days I begged, pleaded, cried, etc. Barely a response from H. Did a 180 on day 6, no contact, I went dark. This started Wed. Thursday he texted me "hope your counseling appt goes well." I reply, "Thanks for thinking of me." No contact. Went to bed last night at 10:30, I was asleep when he texted at 11:00 with "Are you up?" I responded when I got up this morning with "Yes." That was it. Calls five hours later, I was very matter of fact and said I am working on myself and am trying to move forward. He then shows up at my house after I texted him after we hung up with, "I'm not going back to work for a bit if you want to talk." He comes over. He's confused, doesn't want a divorce, but "can't touch the burner again with fear of getting burned." I don't blame him. He was emotional, no crying though, he looked so confused and depressed.

No contact all weekend until Easter, when I texted him saying “Hope you had a good Easter. I’m done being in limbo, need to move on.” Texted back saying “You have decided to move on.” I did not respond. Few minutes later calls asks me where I am (I was out for a drive) and said “I’m at the house, we need to chat.” I show up, he either seemed mad I wasn’t home or that I said I was moving on, whatever. Still said he is confused.
What’s my next move?
I’m done being a string along. I know it’s only been 12 days but I’m his wife, not some girl he picked up at a bar and isn’t sure if he wants to be with her or not. He’s a coward and is bailing, and I’m sick of being the string along. I’ve been dark since Sunday night. No contact, nothing.