Not confused, still emotional, getting very angry

[job]

Once again you are waffling...this tells me that you do not know what you want. When in doubt do absolutely nothing. Sit quietly, the answers will come. When you give it up to God, he will reveal the answers to you when he is ready. However, when you give it up and then snatch it back again, nothing will happen.

Trust me when I say this, w/mlc, divorce will not give you closure. I know...many of us who travel the mlc path and then divorced do not find closure the way that you would if your spouse died a natural death. Your marriage did not die a natural death and there will be many questions that you will never get the answers to. You learn to accept what ou can't change and carry on.

Do not "assume" anything when it comes to your spouse. He may or may not be w/that particular ow. He could be hiding n his rabbit hole, sitting and staring at 4 walls. He could be out w/the guys or working...we, the lbs, tend to "assume" and some of the time, those assumptions are incorrect.

You are a fixer and want to fix this situation and you can't. Just because you do not see anything happening doesn't mean that it isn't. You have to put your faith and trust in God and allow him to do his work.

Please keep in mind that you are only seeing a small number of the population who have spouses still at home and reconciling. You can't base what you see here as the true number of reconcilations. Many who divorce leave the board and don't return if they reconcile. Why? It's a lot of hard work when it comes to reconcilation.

I also want to point out that there is no guarantee that those living at home will reconcile and go on w/happy lives. It all will depend upon how both the mlcer and lbs handle the final stages of the reconcilation and if they are successful in creating a "new" marriage and not revert back to old ways in the old marriage.

My question to you is this...do you love this man? If so, then give him the time and space to figure himself out. You don't want him home the way he is right now. You have two children and if he were to return home in the shape he is in, you will have a third child and this one, you will not be able to control. Take a look at those who have mlcers at home and see just how much patience they have. Every day is a new hill to climb w/the mlcers. Every day, they have to dig deeper for patience and count to 100 to save themselves from booting them out. It's not fun and your mental, emotional and physical state will be under a lot of stress. Trust me, a mlcer at home is a lot of work and a whole lot more patience is needed when dealing w/them. My hat is tipped to those who can deal w/an mlcer at home. I had my xh at home for 7 months once he went full blown and I was very glad when I booted him out. The stress, the unknown, the lies, and the nasty/crazy behavior was enough for me to say enough.

Keep the focus on you and your childen. Until you are absolutely certain about what you want to do, then do nothing.