"applaud loudly for the 1% of positives she does". Sounds gimmicky and it is NOT easy to do, but it helps.
Do it without any expectations of reciprocity and make that clear by either writing it in a quick note or text or saying it on your way out the door. That way she'll know you were not standing there hoping for "payback".
Can you explain this a little better? If she does something that is helpful, and I say " i really appreciate your help" or whatever, do i then have to back it up by saying that I dont expect anything in return?
No.
You just leave or drive off or say it on your way out. You say/do it in a way that NO ONE could think you were hoping for feedback/payback. Same for the glass of water.
And that's not what I mean so much as mowing the lawn BEFORE she comes home and then not being here when she arrives. No way for her to thank you, you did it b/c it needed doing. NOT to "get her" or "impress her" but to do it FOR her or FOR THE FAMILY, b/c hey, "that's what men do..."
I'm sorry 25yrsmlc, i might have missed a valuable lesson here. Also, is getting a DB coach worth it?
YES
it's the best money I ever spent AND btw, I got about 15 of their sessions so YEAH I put my money where my mouth is. Figured divorce costs more...
but then, you might learn faster than me. Let's hope so!
I imagine that the best thing about it is that they can tailor my goals/ strategies towards my specific situation?
exactly. Assuming you get the right one (I don't know of a "bad one")
all I can say is my DB coach, "Vernetta", was a Godsend. Her advice felt tailor made for me. I'd write down her sayings and put them in a summarized form and carry them around.
She helped me more than any single thing...I credit her with a lot.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
