Ok, in the grand scheme of things, things have gotten better. Better doesn't necessarily mean she has changed her mind at all.
Right. She is not going to change her mind any time soon. It will take time.
Originally Posted By: Grizz
And is it really progress that she is being nice? I can't say that I totally agree with that. The optimist in me says sure, you have to be nice to R. But the pessimist in me says that she is just tired of acting like an a$$ because she is really a nice person and she is just biding her time until she can afford to leave.
If she really wanted out badly enough, she'd find a way. So living with you is tolerable! Yay you! What you've been given is time. Time to quietly work on you, and let her see that your new marriage together can be better than the old.
Who cares what she's thinking right now, or why she is staying. You got a hot date or someplace else to go? Relax, stop worrying about what she's thinking, (because you don't really know!) and be content with things for now. Remember, Michele wrote that it's ok if your marriage is in a holding pattern for a while.
I used to think and worry about the same things you are right now, but I continued to apply the DB techniques, and over a year later W is still here. Hasn't talked about leaving in months.
Give up on the idea of having an immediate or quick resolution to your marriage crises. How do you suppose that would play out if you pressed her for it right now? See what I mean?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
What you've been given is time. Time to quietly work on you, and let her see that your new marriage together can be better than the old.