Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

[wishing, hoping]

AJ its always a pleasure to read your posts.

Part of H's family thinks I'm boring because I don't want to belly up to the bar on a Saturday night. They don't understand why I would rather sit home and eat popcorn and watch Disney movies with the kids. They don't understand why we can't just drop everything at the drop of a hat and meet them for dinner and drinks? Just leave the kids and they will be fine. Sure. H and I had many, many discussions about this and I thought we were on the same page about it. Maybe I was wrong. But my opinions and beliefs haven't changed. I have no regrets.

Another person's opinion of you sometimes depends on whether or not you are helping them reach their agenda. If you go along with them they like you and you're fun and thoughtful. If you make them uncomfortable and cause them to question their lifestyle them you are materialistic and "stuck-up". Fine. Like you said AJ one person's opinion of me doesn't make it true. These same people think OW is wonderful and considerate and thoughtful. Hmmm...perhaps she is just accommodating. And if they prefer her company to mine then I just say good riddance to bad garbage.

And by saying this I am not trying to be conceited or holier than thou. I'm just not letting other define who I am or who I want to be. At BD H gave me a laundry list of items that he disliked about me. One being that I was the reason his family wanted nothing to do with us. Not so much as I found out in later months when certain members of the family told me they were sick of H's lies and excuses and his tendency to brag about his job or his house. I found out even later that he pushed many friends away with these behaviors as well. And all this time he said it was me and my behaviors that people didn't like or understand. Talk about projection.

You are right AJ. I will be at such a better place than H. I already am. I just need to keep focusing on these strengths and putting the negative behind me.

Help me remember this when I have a down moment again would ya?

WH