My WAW - coming to terms with it all!

[WAW_SC]

Are you trying to justify doing nothing new b/c "it's too late"
or are you confusing detachment with Not caring? They are not the same.



One of he biggest fears that I have is that any effort to do an act of service will make my wife angry as she will pressured that I am just trying to get back with her. So i guess you are right about being careful about what it is I actually do for my wife so that it doesnt come across this way.
For eg, during the wedding, we went out to a club after the reception was over with some friends. At the club i went to get some water and grabbed a glass for my W. When i brought it over to her, she hesitated to take it and did not seem impressed, but it was an honest and automatic gesture of grabbing something non alcoholic during a long night of drinking. She tried to palm the glass off to someone else, but eventually took it anyway. I know it doesnt seem like much but it was this reaction that makes me cautious of doing sincere acts of service.
I truly believe that I did give her words of affirmation, encouragement and love. I would express myself clearly to her and compliment her on her looks, he efforts around the house and always thank her is she cooked dinner, cleaned etc. I believe i was good at that but it would soemtimes wash over her, like she didnt believe it herself? Not sure. I tried to encourage her to do more stuff for herself but she used to hesitate a lot, and find reasons why she shouldnt go for a run in the mornings, or take saturday off on her own to do whatever she liked. This was an incredibly frustrating part of our relationship because I really wanted her to do things for herself, to get in touch with herself again, but I think she just felt this was more pressure from me and would sometimes try and blame me for not putting herself first.

BTW, I am looking forward to your help about the apology, but you are right it must be done at the right time and way.