Life, continued (22+ months)

[Accuray]

I completely understand why you let it go -- I don't think anyone holds that against you, as you point out its hard to have a gauge for normal or acceptable for borderline behavior you're not familiar with. Here on this big forum it seems unanimous that H's behavior is abusive, not normal, and not acceptable, and that your IC was wrong to tell you to tolerate being held down. We are reinforcing your beliefs here, not chastising you for prior shortcomings. I do think you should continue to defend the boys in this regard by setting boundaries with H and teaching the boys to do the same. This forum has taught me a lot that my wife's behavior that I regarded as normal was in fact not the norm at all. Sometimes we're blinded by having such a small sample set.