I wish you'd let your threads run out a bit....you are switching gears so fast. Relax...this is a marathon.
You really need to try to wrap your head around letting her go. I'm not saying give up on the M....but give up on the idea that you have any control over what she wants, or does, or chooses.
If discussing the D blows you out of the water, I'd probably steer clear of the subject for the time being. I know that for a long time, every time my W would bring it up, it put me in a foul mood and we would end up in an argument. It wasn't until I accepted it, until I stopped fighting it, that I was able to discuss it without concerns.
Focus on you...do the work on your issues....be happy, look good, etc. Believe me, she'll notice. She probably won't say anything, but that's how it works initially.
