yep mrb... I do need to calm the "f" down. I have to remember, how lucky I am. h has not written me off just yet, there isnt OW, we speak frequently through the day, he is not put off/scared to be around me, i know he still cares/loves us. He is not against reconcilliation. These are all good things. I am luckier than alot of people on this site.
Yes, I am a doormat (I cater to his whims/demands and act based on his emotions). Yes, part of his sales tactics is to bait/keep on the hook (he did this for marriage and now worried for r too). HE IS EXTREMELY STUBBORN & selfish. However, he is a good man.
I am paranoid to lose him. I am db'ing my little butt off the best I can. Mark today as another day I didn't screw up. April is a new month & my goal is to not R talk or temp check. I really need to calm down and find patience. I pray (180) and am trying to put my heart and head into God's hands.
Someone mentioned breathing techniques ... where can I find out more about them? I have also looked into the Power of Now audio tapes (even though I have read the book in the past).
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
