Stuck..how do I get out???

[mizjjd]

Back from my trip. Feeling sad. H didn't seem to miss me.

Did you have expectations?

Fri night he went out. I found receipt in house from last weekend for flowers n gift card. Flipped out on H bc it was right by the OW house.

TnD, I am the last person to advise on this because I personally have SUCH a hard time with ow stuff, but work towards NOT flipping out. That is the goal. No flip outs. Calm cool and collected - that's you.

He totally denied knowing anything about it

They will deny until the cows come home. Its mind boggling how they can possibly expect to be believed but they think if they deny enough that it makes it so.

Sat he spent day cuddling in bed w me n being nice despite my not believing his story. He left at 4 pm to get kids Easter baskets. Never heard from him again.

Are you okay with the cuddling? It sounds like cake eating - he gets the cuddles and the other ow too? Think carefully but I think you need some boundaries here. IF you decide to set boundaries REMEMBER.

THEY ARE FOR YOUR BENEFIT - NOT TO PUNISH YOUR H.

THEY NEED TO BE SET FORTH CALMLY.

THEY NEED TO BE ENFORCED.

Tried calling him all night but he didn't answer.

Don't do this. Its pursuit.

Ask him where he was all night

Don't do this either. Its part of detaching. If you let go of the sitch life will be easier for you. You are to live YOUR life. Treat his antics with a shrug. Much better for you if he gets the impression you are so busy with yourself that you just can't be bothered with whatever he might be up to.

I asked him for an explanation why he doing all this but he won't answer. Just says he unhappy but won't say why.

Don't do this. This is relationship talk and its a bad idea. TnD if you believe your H is in MLC then you know he doesn't have a clue why he "does all this".

I cried al day.

Its really hard painful stuff that you are dealing with. I am sorry you are going through such a rotten time. (Try not to let H see you cry- it only makes things worse.)

I think i need to move on already. I really don't understand but i dont see him coming around. I don't want to guess where he goes anymore.

How long has it been for you since bomb drop? This MLC stuff takes YEARS. Thats YEARS. And you won't last years unless you detach. When you detach you WON'T spend time guessing about where your H is because you will have filled your life with other better things.

There is NOTHING you can do to talk, snap, beg, plead, bribe, force your H out of where he is. You HAVE to let go, for yourself AND for your marriage.

Do you still have IC?

Hoping for better days for you!