I am so very grateful that I found these boards. It has given me the strength to look at myself, thus the ability and tools to create a stronger, happy me regardless of the outcome of my marriage. Plus, it has been a safe place to say "Hey, I'm not ready to say I'm done. I'm standing!" and feel no judgement. I am a better person for having DB in my life. I will continue to stay here and work the principles in my life.
I think I always knew in my heart, from the moment he told me that it was mulitple affairs, that I was going to leave him. And I do believe that it will be me that has to do the leaving. He has been very consistant in saying that he would like to stay married for a few years, maybe just separated. I know it's his fear. I've been his family for 13 years. But this time, I feel it's too much. I feel like I want to start my new life, without him. I don't see him getting better anytime soon, if ever. And frankly, I know there is too much damage to me to ever believe him again and create an intimacy that I deserve.
I plan to email him mid week about compiling a list of things we need to do to the house to get it ready to sell. The baby will be here before we know it, and we can't afford 2 homes. My boss and I just spoke about adding a third day a week until August, so that will be money I can sock away for my maternity leave. Since I am part time, I get no paid leave and I will still have to keep the kids in their daycare to hold their spots.
I still have faith we can handle this in a mediated divorce, but I have an appointment friday with a lawyer.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
