This feels really off to me because, basically, if we have no future together, I really don't think I'll be spending money on him for future holidays. DDs don't have an income besides their allowance, which I pay & isn't much, so it's all on me. Plus, whether dds want to get him a gift for father's day or not is really their decision (let's face it, he's been a sh!t dad this year). On the other hand, I didn't give him a gift for xmas & d17 gave him a wallet, d15 gave nothing. Same for Vday, they gave nothing. And on both occasions H was generous with girls and even me. Gave me cash for xmas for trip girls & I took in December (family trip we previously had planned, before he existed our family. I took girls without him). Gifts in general are low on his LL scale but I'm sure the rejection hurt him. It just seems very presumptuous to suggest gifts that I would have to order and pay for.
This is all about trying to figure out what is really in his mind. Take what he says at face value.
Quote:
But that's what we would have done in the past... so is this just a slip up on his part of defaulting to past years?
Mindreading
Quote:
Do I play this game and get him his expensive gift on behalf of dds?
Mindreading, who says it's a game and not an honest attempt to figure out F and M Day
Quote:
Can I live with it if he ends up filing for D?
If he hasn't talked about filing (sorry I can't remember if he has)this is mindreading.
And there's that phrase again, "could I live with myself?" If you bought him something or more specifically, helped the Ds buy him something and you D, why would you not be able to live with yourself?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
