The last time i saw W, she implied that things might be different now if i had not pressed her when she first had interest in OW. i said that she could not work on our M at the same time she was hanging out with OW and she chose to hang out with OW... i think that is what motivated my statement, wondering if i had displayed enough confidence to sit and give her some space if things might have ended up differently. but then tbh i think that statement by W may just be her way to justify things on her end.
You have mentioned this a couple of times... and time and time again you have been advised to let it go.
But I know how hard that can be. My x says things like that every time we see each other. And every time I buy a ticket to get on that rollercoaster.
So if you can't let it go - here is another thought.
Make her eat her words..
And I don't mean that in a vindictive way. I mean in that you have had an awakening way. Take every negative thing she believes to be to true about you and change it (Whilst protecting yourself financially during the D).
By becoming the best NG, you make harder and harder for her to blame you. You clean her mirror.
At the same time, the new you will just radiate. It will radiate because it is your new truth.
And she will notice. Your community is too small for her not to.
And when she does... she will think back to what she said earlier and ask herself if what she accused you of was really true.
.... and in that moment, that is when change MIGHT happen.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
