Mana, Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! Part 2

[keep_going]

Tallula,

I don't think anyone is saying that you should or should not Divorce. What I was trying to say is that regardless of what your final decision is, you don't need to make it today, right now.

Your emotions are very raw right now. You might decide to file for D based on your current hurt and anger. In my view, that would be the wrong motivation. Once you let things settle and you are calm and clear on what is best for you and your kids, you might still decide that filing is the best option and you can proceed knowing that you are doing it for the right reasons.

As for:

When I take a deep look, I know I felt like I needed to just go file and start this because he knows how to string me along, eating the cake. And I worry with my preggo hormones that I will bite every once in awhile. So, I may be crazy posting for awhile for support.

I understand your fear and the reason why you are fearful that you may bite shows that you understand that how you react to his cake-eating is in YOUR hands. You don't have to file for D to stop "biting." He can continue to try cake-eating and that is out of your control, but that doesn't mean you will take it. Go back to focusing on you and setting and keeping healthy boundaries.

As for the hurt you feel from his constant lies, I have nothing for you. Yes, it hurts like nothing. Only time and detachment will help you heal and you need to be patient with YOURSELF to get there, because this is very raw, ongoing and you will have a R with this man for the rest of your life. So in a situation like ours, detachment and healing will probably take longer than if we could simply start a life apart from our Hs. Learn to be ok with that, learn to somehow deal with the pain in a healthy way and be ok that you will heal at your own pace. (Much, much easier said than done. I am over two years into this and it still hurts - a lot...)

This is why you HAVE to stay in your blanket and stop focusing on him. There is A LOT going on for you right now. Stay focused on what matters most - protecting your heart and that of your kids.

And leave him to figure out his stuff.

(((Tallula))))