When we got ready for bed I asked her what happened at the party she let me know she was done and wanted a divorce. No option of R or Counseling, Therapy, or any other help to save or marriage.
You would be amazed at how often it goes down like this. Most of us have similar stories where one day we're making love to our spouses, laughing, sharing emails signed with love and XXOO and the next day we're yesterday's news- rejected, unwanted, unneeded, tossed to the curb like garbage. At least, that's how it seems. In actuality our spouses have been unhappy and planning their escape for months or even years. We've been wronging them in ways we weren't even aware of and they are sick and tired of it and ready to move on. So your job is to determine what you did wrong and do 180's on those things, and to pull back and give your W time and space to think things through. Yes she thinks she's done, but with time if she sees a different, more attractive you then she may come back.
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So I figured she had planned this for a while. She denied it and said she had an epiphany @ midnight. She also denied the OOM.
Get used to the lies, they go with the territory. Don't ask relationship questions because A) it's pressure and B) she's not going to tell the truth anyway.
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She seems very happy away from me and my D.
That's just on the outside, on the inside she's probably confused, conflicted and trying to decide what she should do. That's why you need to quit applying pressure and pull back, because right now she's looking for an excuse not to like you.
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I can see the writing on the wall, but I refuse to give up on our marriage, my wife, my family, and our future without a fight and doing everything I can to save us.
This isn't a fight, in fact it's the opposite of a fight. It's giving your W what she wants- time and space away from you. Sure you don't want to help with the D, but other than that you're not fighting her, you're just working on yourself while giving her space.
