Time and space. Give him time and space and use it yourself. Believe me, I never thought I'd be still in 'limboland' 9 months later but things look a lot different now than they did even 9 weeks ago.
Have you read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie? It will help you learn how to control your reactions. Reactions have and always will be a really big issue for me and it sounds like to you too. But at least you'll be able to recognize the reaction and eventually learn to control it. And that takes time!
Just check out for awhile and regroup. No contact or pursuing. If you make no contact will it make your situation better or worse? Maybe better because it could give H some breathing room & help him start to forget any embarrassing behavior on your part. But definitely worse because you'd be pushing him away and exibiting all the pressure that he can't deal with right now. Someone here told me early on to not remind him of why he left (prob 25 or labug).
Be strong and start working on controlling your reactions.
