The Waiting is the Hardest Part

[reachingHigher]

Personally, I feel that if my wife of nearly 30 years can give up on us, then anyone could bail on their spouse at any time. Kinda ruined the whole idea of everlasting true love and commitment for me.

FY, I've been thinking about this theme a lot lately.

I saw it compared on another thread to finding out Santa isn't real.

I didn't grow with that notion that Santa was ever real, but H's parents went to great lengths to perpetuate that and when H found out the truth he was devastated. He then wondered long about what else the adults weren't telling him about life.

He has brought this up a few times. He then said that was a motivating reason he had to start replay activities was to find out what other people were experiencing as such happiness that he didn't have.

Then ... its like the Oz movie...everything he always wanted was right here at home anyway.

So...FY, I am totally with you about losing the dream of true love. I've actually had a few weeks of fear here about H dying. It's so awesome to have and hold someone you thought you would never touch again. It made me afraid of losing him forever in death. At least, in MLC you have the chance the spouse will come back.

That fear has mostly passed and I'm concentrating on living happily again.

FY, I always like your sense of humor. And you obviously don't need a woman on your arm to have a sense of who you are. Although, you want W back, you really don't NEED her back. You don't need her to define who you are.

[quote=Tori]My wife seems to be slooooowly getting more comfortable around me. More eye contact, more at ease, slightly more willingness to open up or do stuff together. Progress is very slow, so it's hard for me to tell for sure

I think this is good news. I noticed in November/ December, despite the fact we were heading for D, there was a slow progress of H's interest in me. Looking back now at our texts recorded on iPhone, I can see this was true. I wasn't just imagining it. Some flirting, interest in mutual activities, positive mutual history comments, etc.

So...maybe W is warming up to you just a but. Remember she is a feral cat. Don't scare her off! It's probably a great timing in your sitch for your class to start.

I also like the news little sister moved back in with her H. I'm pretty sure W is taking notes although not saying so.

My H mentioned many things that were said/done to him of people encouraging him to look at the sitch or his life in general, in a new way. I thought he ignored all these comments but he actually was processing them. I expect your W to be doing the same.

Keep going,

rH