Start with forgiving yourself for being a 'terrible' husband. Make a personal decision to be different.

As for the hurt, it does fade away with time. Forgiving your W for giving up can help with that...it isn't easy, but time does heal wounds

Me 33, H 34
T 15 (on and off, 7 years this stretch)
M 4
DD 3
OW July 2010, IDLY - Oct 2010

1st sep 28/5/11-14/8/11 (my idea)
OW confirmed 25/11/11 (H travelled with OW 26/11/11)
I moved out 3/12/11