Thanks

[PatientMan]

I had an interesting weekend. W got a babysitter so we could go shopping on Friday evening, and while we were out she called to have the sitter stay longer so we could go get dinner afterwards. I didn't allow myself to look at that as anything more than just trying to enjoy some time together as friends without the girls around.

Over Saturday and Sunday I did feel like she was pulling away a little bit, but again I didn't allow myself to take anything more than maybe she was internally wrestling with what she may have viewed as a quasi-date and what message that may have sent me.

Mainly I just focused on spending time with the kids, and when I was spending time with W I tried to be attentive and caring. Earlier on in this process I may have rode the roller-coaster up and down this past weekend, but I did a fairly good job of being a steady Eddie sitting on my picnic blanket and enjoying the long weekend and extra time with my family.

(In reality, Friday night could have been anywhere in between 1)her feeling me out R-wise and 2) her just wanting some new clothes and feeling she needs to butter me up to get them. I'm not going to waste my energy speculating any of the potential explanations - it's just an exercise in futility and doesn't change anything for me.)

I *feel* like I'm finally coming around into being me no matter what. I can't say that her actions don't affect me, but I'm doing much better at realizing that while I am affected, that doesn't change who I am or who I want to be.

And with as bad as this long process has been, that is something that finally feels good.

Make today a great one!

-PM