Those are the only two things I've seen work. If #1 turns up nothing, then proceed to #2b. And in the meantime, GAL your ass off, and become the better option. Best case, you'll attract them back, and at a minimum you'll become a better person that will be more attractive to SOMEBODY in your next relationship.
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This ^^^ is from my own personal archives. I think what you need to ask yourself is, "Is this a dealbreaker for me?" Are you:
a) Willing to remain married despite the affair, but only if she ends it;
b) Willing to remain married despite the affair, even if she continues;
c) Done with the marriage -- her infidelity is already a dealbreaker for me.
No one can tell you where you fall on that scale, but your telling us what your own boundaries are will better let us help you.
