Thank you for the replies and ideas. McCas, good idea about the alarm, I get text alerts when my alarm is disarmed so I would know when he comes and goes anyways. I'm open to extending trust in general, but not if he's planning D and would use my trust against me. Can't read him and I can't tell where he's going. Only time will tell. Littlegto, I caught up on your thread recently and thank you for your support and encouragement.
Had a very good Easter day with dds and went to MIL's for dinner (H not there). She's been very supportive and it's been a good opportunity to heal some wounds in my R with her. She was absent from our lives for 12 years & we never really made up, just tried to sweep everything under the rug. So I feel good that my R with her has progressed in a positive way and that allows her more access to her granddaughters.
I've communicated every day for the past couple weeks now w/ H. More communication that ever. All positive, but all pretty formal and he doesn't ask anything personal. I've been sending more joke/funny messages in the past week and he's responded favorably. It's all been pretty good, better communication means talking more about the kids and I know he appreciates being more in the loop.
IS THIS STRANGE? H sends me a weblink for some custom design belt thingy for work & said "A Father's Day suggestion for the girls. Maybe you can send me one for Mother's Day?" And his "suggestion/request" is $199.00!
This feels really off to me because, basically, if we have no future together, I really don't think I'll be spending money on him for future holidays. DDs don't have an income besides their allowance, which I pay & isn't much, so it's all on me. Plus, whether dds want to get him a gift for father's day or not is really their decision (let's face it, he's been a sh!t dad this year). On the other hand, I didn't give him a gift for xmas & d17 gave him a wallet, d15 gave nothing. Same for Vday, they gave nothing. And on both occasions H was generous with girls and even me. Gave me cash for xmas for trip girls & I took in December (family trip we previously had planned, before he existed our family. I took girls without him). Gifts in general are low on his LL scale but I'm sure the rejection hurt him. It just seems very presumptuous to suggest gifts that I would have to order and pay for.
But that's what we would have done in the past... so is this just a slip up on his part of defaulting to past years? Do I play this game and get him his expensive gift on behalf of dds? Can I live with it if he ends up filing for D? It just feels WEIRD!! I want to reply & say 'seriously? you do realize you left & I don't have to do anything for you anymore?' But things have been pretty good this last month and the communication is a plus and it's felt kind of getting back to normal - we even have the C appt in 2 weeks that he has been very agreeable to attending. But it is a bizarre request given the past 9 months!
Opinions on this strangeness? If I do play along, I want to ask for a Mini Ipad.
