[in_it]

Breakdown, thank you for the response & advice.

I hear you on the cake eating & see it all too clearly. This is one thing I know I need to be stronger about. Setting boundaries is & has been tough for me. I'm a very strong willed person & know I can handle quite a bit. It's when he travels I become my weakest. Fortuanately his traveling has slowed way down. When the affair started he was away every week. This was from mid Nov until mid Jan.

Both of those books have been ordered & I'm awaiting them patiently. I will now be getting "Love Must Be Tough" it sounds like I need that one as well.

Problems in the M from his prospective are--he hasn't felt anything for a long time. Says there is no passion and feels more like roommates. No real elabotlration from that. I can say that I worried way too much about everything besides our intrmate lives. I made sure that the dinner cooked was what he wanted. Made sure all errands were ran, made sure D7 & D5 had everything they needed, etc. etc. etc. You get the point.
From mine--being naive. Thinking we would always be. Not recognizing or believing his signals & warnings. He had voiced them a few times in the past in conversation.

For myself my goals are to stay strong for my daughters. To keep myself occupied. To increase my excersise routine. To take it one day at a time & not try to get ahead of myself. Start drawing again.
What I don't like about myself somewhat goes with my goals. I don't like the fact that I try to be too pleasing. I'm a pleaser even if I don't agree with whatever the decision is I'll put on a happy face and go with it.

Thanks again Breakdown. You've made me really take a look at my situation from another perspective.