I know sometimes in the past, I would be talking to my wife on my cell and she would ask me to stop shouting. I think what I was doing was increasing the volume of my speech because of noise around me. I do know that people will speak more loudly into cell phones than they do when they are speaking in person. The microphones are more powerful than we are aware of.
Your husband also sounds stressed. If he is feeling stressed about what he has to do and then you are attacking him about his tone of voice and his shouting, how do you think that's gonna go?
He may feel you should understand him without him explaining himself because of how close you are. You know him well. If he is stressed, he may be taking his frustration out on you. Especially if he leans on you as his partner. We all are guilty of that. Making our loved ones pay for the transgressions of others. That doesn't make it right, but it does explain what may be going on.
Offer him the benefit of the doubt that Michele references. Try to look at this objectively or scientifically instead of holding him guilty until proven innocent. The trigger may just be an overworked guy using a phone with an overly sensitive mic.
